Living for Twenty Four Years
At the time of writing this, I turned 24 yesterday. Happy birthday to me!
Setting the context
This piece of writing is me consciously putting the flag down at an important milestone, because this feels like one. This feels like moving to the next season of a TV show; not as smooth and continuous as moving to the next episode, which usually feels more continuous.
I fully understand how outrageous it might be to be reading anything a 24-year-old has to tell you; I have, and I’m sure some of you have as well, experienced what it’s like to be young and not taken as seriously as your equally knowledgeable, but older (or visually older), peers/friends/colleagues. It also doesn’t make it any better that I look much younger than I actually am.
This is a collection of stories, experiences & feelings - converted into a digital memory I can come back to. I’ve realized it’s important to intentionally do that sometimes - a dear client once demonstrated that to me practically on a day I was feeling like the team has just been going round in circles and I had not been feeling very useful. She sat down with me and told me how far we’ve moved in three months - and how fast I had adapted and transformed in those three crucial months doing a job I had never really done before. Looking back is important, especially when you’re building, even if you’re just building yourself back up. It’s hard to see that a massive sandcastle was just sand lying around on the beach just a few hours ago.
Tiny bits of gyaan
When I zoom out, I see how I’ve been running on a treadmill since when I was 18, and I’m so glad I hopped on to treadmill when I did. While coming early might not be the bestest of things to do (actually, never do this) - starting early definitely is.
Over the years, I’ve learnt some important lessons. And while they may seem fairly simple and obvious, I want to write them out and remind you of them:
If you’re not naturally curious about yourself, about the world, about something - you have got to figure out a way to build that up.
There’s always something bad happening in the world. Don’t get too emotionally carried away by it. Make tiny bubbles of change instead.
Unconditionally offer help. Give away without expectation. Especially to those who desperately need it.
Recognise that most parts of your life are phases - the episode will definitively end one day. Look at all experiences as ephemeral.
Be unreasonably nice - especially to those who aren’t usual recipients of niceness.
Do not be surprised when your life feels like it’s falling apart, it’s part of the journey. When you’re going through a good time, be it emotionally or financially, make sure you’ve prepared yourself for the downturn too.
Read, write, work.
Some internal reflections, people, relationships, & mountain-climbing
Birthday blues are real, and it’s been especially real for me this time around.
I spent the last couple of days with the people I’m most comfortable with, minus the ones who’re scattered around the world and another very important person.
I feel much older than I really am - I measure myself with outrageous expectations that I’ve set for myself and that has worked out wonderfully for me so far… but I do think it’s time to take a slightly different approach now.
I’m not sure how many of you feel the same, but I feel like I’ve been running behind a target that I myself keep pushing away. Sort of like two ends of two different magnets. And I’ve been running like a cockroach whose head has just been cut off. (Oh, by the way - did you know that cockroaches can stay alive without their head? For a while at least till they die of hunger), point is - I’ve been running without design. And that is a good way to start feeling directionless & tired. It feels like wasted energy, even if it’s really not.
What’s really kept me climbing up this mountain is people & a relentless desire for a good life.
The value & comfort that kind, smart, loving people can add to your life is absolutely insane.
I’ve learnt the hard way that it’s important to be intentional about the people who matter to you - talk to them every so often, try & go the extra mile to meet them, check-in on them when you can. Being careless and getting carried away with work has had disproportionately large consequences - it’s hard to mend relationships you’ve broken, even if you never intended to.
Note to Self: Never forget the people who stood with you through your 23rd.
I’ve said too much now (especially for someone probably not even lived half his life yet).
Happy birthday to me.
Write to me when you feel like it, I love talking to new people over email (hi@onlysif.com), it’s a guilty pleasure.
